Advices
- Set a good example. Don’t adopt the old phrase, “Do as I say – not as I do”.
- Make demands. These demands must be realistic. If a child repeatedly faces demands he can not possibly meet, the child will gradually lose his sense of self-esteem. The result will be a low IP level. As you gradually demand more of young people, you will probably discover that they can handle more than both you and they thought they could. Make sure your child lives up to your demands. Otherwise the child will regard them as meaningless.
- Give recognition. This is the best way to strengthen their self-esteem. Give young people spontaneous attention. Right from the heart. Show immediate enthusiasm for their efforts. Maintain eye contact with your child and listen attentively while he talks. Give young people recognition. Not just for their skills and what they do, but for their attitudes and behavior too.
- Reprimand without discouraging. In a way that allows them to maintain their feeling of self-esteem but still changes their behavior.
- use words the young person understands
- don’t criticize the person, only the behavior
- be brief – don’t preach
- be honest
- don’t use threats
- don’t reprimand while others are present
- try to do the reprimanding as soon after the offence as possible
- don’t reprimand unless you yourself witnessed the offence
- don’t repeat your criticism
- explain why the behavior was wrong
- explain how to avoid making the same mistake again
- pay attention to how the child reacts and help him handle the
- criticism
- praise the child when he accepts justified criticism.
- When young people criticize you, don’t take it as a sign of disrespect. Listen carefully to their criticism. Help them express what they mean. Evaluate the criticism carefully. Accept it if it is justified.
- Give them responsibility and the freedom to act.
To show confidence in them:
- listen to them
- give them greater freedom to act
- place fewer restrictions on them
- point out their strong points
- inspire them to try new things
- let them make more decisions
- ask them their opinions and respect them
- defend them against unfair attacks
- do things together and spend time with them
- give them undivided attention
- help them become active people with many interests
- usehumor to create relaxed and positive relationships with them.
- humor also makes it easier to accept mistakes and deal with defects anddisappointments
- Don’t use irony or be sarcastic. Young people have difficulty in understanding sarcasm. Irony can have a negative effect on their self – esteem.
- By the time children are ten years old, they can understand what an IP level and an AP level are.
Teach young people to:
- make things ready for the nextperson
- keep promises
- become do / check person
- take responsibility
- share positive emotions
- be honest
- be loyal
- say thank you
- be tolerant
- behave ethically
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